Oh so awkward

I flashed by the Charlie Sheen Roast tonight... Dad walked by... right when the hooker/crack/obviously offensive Sheen-esque joke was popping out. He just looked at me and walked away. I can't blame him.

Native American Corgi

My little corgi Darcie is a bit of a chunk, like most corgis. My dad refuses to believe that she is typical size and makes frequent comments about her weight - TO HER FACE! How dare he.

Here's the most recent quote:

"If there was an Indian name for Darcie it would be "Ten Pork Chops".

Failed Dad, you failed.

Okay, lately my evening routine consists of putting on pajamas (or 'jammers' to some), eating cheese and crackers, working and getting complaints from parents I work with and work hard for (urgh!), and watching the Daily Show.

Enter Dad.

This little fellow popped up with Jon Stewart as none other than "the cat who looks like Hitler"; My dad saw him up on the screen and said, "Wow! That is a very special pussy cat. Very big ears!"

How could he have missed the point farther? Really, how?

I can't be sure, I can never be sure...

... but I'm pretty sure that when I came home to check in on my mom today she was watching Jersey Shore.

I have been busy

Wedding fever is sweeping my beloveds! And the only prescription? Crafting... of course. I have been a busy bee! Behold...

Bridal Shower invites...

And something for the girl of the hour...

So much fun to be able to help out the loved ones.

Are you trying to set me up with Nick Cannon?

Okay, I know you all have grown to love and laugh at my pappa, but we're switching it up. It's mom's turn.

She decided to watch America's Got Talent, for reasons I cannot explain to you. The blog is not meant to be a DSM. Moving on, I walk in the door from work and my Mom opens with, "You know who's a nice guy? That Nick Cannon."

Silence.

"He was so nice to this old man on the show. He got rejected but then Nick [they're on a first name basis] sang with him anyway."

"He's married to Mariah Carey mom."

"Oh.... okay."

Just another Saturday night

I arrived home from a lovely dinner with friends, and I find a chilling sight.

My dad and (more surprisingly) my mom watching effing Conan the Destroyer on AMC. "Oh God" fell out of my mouth. An hour later, this fell out of my dad's, "Arnold has quite a physique! Those muscles! Not that it excites me..."

Fantastic.