Oh England in the '60s

The last art project I did was drawing a jam jar in high school. This teacher who was a well-renowned art teacher said, “Whitlock! You have butchered the paper!” My only claim to fame after that was in Uncle Malcolm’s woodwork class.

She has expensive taste...

...lobster and all.

It's chedder if you're wondering

"Jax, I don't use cheese on the weekend!"

Cell Phone Confusions

My 64-year-old father just received his first cell phone a few weeks ago. It's one of those flip phones that come free with a new line, and has an enormous "911" button on the top... They must have known he was getting old. But I digress...

I'm sitting on the couch in my living room trying to recover from my tonsillectomy and I receive a phone call... from my dad... from our kitchen... two rooms away. He didn't even know the phone was on. Oh technology.

Tea towel!

Whilst washing my hands in the kitchen, the following transpired:

Dad: Dry your hands with the towel!
Me: This is a towel?!
Dad: No! That's a TEA towel.
Me: What's the difference Dad?
Dad: Oh come on. Note the size and weight. THAT is a tea towel. You are old enough to appreciate the difference.

I suppose I am old enough...

Tonsil Woes

Mom: Well even though you’re in pain right now, just think, “You’ll never have to go through this again.”

(5 second pause)

Dad: I’m not so sure about that. Even though it was way back when in England, when I got my tonsils out, some people’s grew back.

Mom: That is not very reassuring for her right now.

Dad: It’s a fact. It’s not reassuring, but it’s a fact. Maybe we can get our money back if they grow in.

Proposition 19

While at a family dinner: "Well I don't know about all of you but if it had passed I would have had some pot. It's just a relaxant! It didn't do anything for me the last time I had it though."