Tonsil Woes

Mom: Well even though you’re in pain right now, just think, “You’ll never have to go through this again.”

(5 second pause)

Dad: I’m not so sure about that. Even though it was way back when in England, when I got my tonsils out, some people’s grew back.

Mom: That is not very reassuring for her right now.

Dad: It’s a fact. It’s not reassuring, but it’s a fact. Maybe we can get our money back if they grow in.

Proposition 19

While at a family dinner: "Well I don't know about all of you but if it had passed I would have had some pot. It's just a relaxant! It didn't do anything for me the last time I had it though."